Kristina Hines Lab 3!

The 1989 Disney Little Mermaid is for all its problematic elements, a real winner. If you can, as I have, looked past the 16-year old marriages and man-centric life goals, there is a tale here to be admired. The titular mermaid does many admirable and sensible things, such as; keep a sweet cave of creepy mementos, defy her lame dad, make a deal with one of the very campiest Disney villains, sacrifice dramatically to reach her goals, and sing hot jams all along the way. The only way this movie could be improved is if the heroic tiny sea-gal teamed up with the witch and kept her dad in the kelp garden longer.

Outlaw of Gor is a real bad movie, a solid non-favorite for the ages. In it, a jacked, tanned, and bleached professor named Tarl Cabot (yep) is transported by a magical stone to the desert FantaSuites kingdom of Gor. Outlaw was made in 1988 and has the towering hair and high-cut bikini briefs to prove it. Once Tarl, or as the movie peasants shout ceaselessly, Cabot, returns to his favorite desert waste (yes this is a sequel) – he fights endless throngs of beloinclothed jerks to win back the crown. Sadly, he brings a really irritating sidekick with him, but this is the least of your problems if you find yourself viewing this movie. Watch the MST3K version or despair.